13 tips: Perfect profiles every time
By Randy Hecht
you’re surrounded by millions of other profiles, how can you make
sure the people you want to meet actually notice you? An intriguing profile
is your key to romantic success. Make it personal. Make it special. Make
it stand out.
Browsing through your matches is like being in
a room full of potential mates; with so many to choose from, you have
to depend on first impressions. Your headline is one of the first impressions
you make, so it had better be good!
Make it unique
"Looking For Love" or "Seeking My Match" is too generic
and won’t set you apart from the crowd. Remember that your headline
is one of the first things other members will see; set aside a few minutes
to make it special or try these suggestions.
Be clever but clear
Don’t assume strangers will understand your
sense of humor. "Clever Headline TBD" doesn’t give anyone
a reason to read your profile. "Fat, Ugly And Stupid Seeks Thin,
Gorgeous And Brilliant" doesn’t work either (would that make
you want to click or move on?).
"Prince Seeks Princess" and "Looking
To Live The Fairy Tale Life" suggests that you need to get your feet
back on the ground. Try not to set yourself up as an object of pity by
using the words "lonely" or "desperate," as in "Lonely
Lady Seeks LTR" or "Desperately Seeking Soulmate." Are
you looking for someone who is lonely or desperate? Neither is anyone
else. And surely there are more enticing ways to describe yourself!
Once your headline makes someone want to learn
more about you, the trick is to keep his or her attention. Don’t
feel like you have to sell yourself; just be open and honest. Ask a friend
to help you write your free profile, and have another friend read it afterwards.
Keep the following advice in mind to help you create a winning profile.
Get to the point
Avoid beginning by complaining about how hard
it is to write a profile or find a quality mate; everyone here has to
do just that. Dive right into describing yourself and what makes you tick.
If you get stuck, use these questions to get you started.
Focus on your strengths
Write about your hobbies, involvement in your
community, interesting work or travels — whatever it is that makes
you special. Think about your ideal match, and write as though you’re
talking specifically to that person.
The words you choose can alienate potential matches,
so go easy on phrases like "drop-dead gorgeous" and "looking
for the perfect mate." Set your expectations high, but keep them
real too. Having trouble describing your ideal match? Try these suggestions.
Be open and conversational
How many times have you read a profile that tries
to impress by using vocabulary-busting words — words that inevitably
are misspelled? It ruins the effect. Or maybe you’ve come across
profiles that say too little, leaving you wondering why anyone would want
to contact this person. Write enough to get your message across, but use
words that would come out of your mouth normally. In short, just be yourself
on a particularly good day.
Describe what’s important to you
Don’t be afraid to mention qualities that
are important to you in a relationship; loyalty, the ability to communicate
and listen, intelligence and humor are good examples. Put those qualities
front and center, and avoid emphasizing characteristics that are less
important to you. Give some thought to why your best relationships have
worked well and why the worst worked so badly; maybe you’ll discover
a pattern there.
Check your spelling and grammar
Your profile tells your potential matches what
to expect from you in an offline conversation; it’s all anyone really
has to determine your personality and your ability to communicate. Although
it might be completely unfair to assume, misspelled words can make people
judge you as being uneducated or illiterate. Take a few extra minutes
to check your spelling. Try writing your profile in a word processing
application first; run spell check, make corrections and copy the text
into your profile.
Did you know that profiles with photos get up
to 15 times more attention? And as with all other aspects of your profile,
the photo you choose says something about you; make sure you’re
delivering the message you intended.
Keep it real
Don’t be deceptive with your photo choice.
That means everything from not choosing a clean-shaven photo if you’ve
just grown a goatee to not posting a photo from two years ago, right after
you lost all the weight that you’ve since regained. And please,
whatever you do, don’t use someone else’s photo instead of
your own. Remember that you’re going to have to live up to the image
you present, so make sure it resembles the real you.
It’s all about you
Choose a photo that features you by yourself.
A group doesn’t make you the center of attention; in fact, it may
even make it difficult for your match to determine who you are. Would
you want to make it all the way to a first date only to find that your
match actually was interested in your friend, the one who was third from
Go in for your close up
Photos taken from a distance end up stealing the
focus away from you. Even though you’re proud of your new car or
boat or your recently acquired ability to hang glide, keep in mind that
your matches want to see your face; they want to be able to associate
what you look like with how you describe yourself in your profile.
Focus on quality
The attention your photo gets should be positive.
Choose a good, clear, current close-up of your face as your primary photo;
additional photos can include full body shots or pictures of you with
your pet. Make sure the photo is well-cropped and doesn’t cut off
the top of your head (leaving your matches to wonder if there’s
hair there). And remember to smile!
A picture really is worth a thousand words. Upload, Email or mail us your