Online Dating Strategy: How
Dating Strategy: How to Click
By Lisa Daily
dating has its perks. You can go man-shopping at 3 am in your jammies.
You can search out someone who shares your adoration of Graham Norton,
trashy tabloids or argyle socks. And, thanks to your most fabulous date-ready
photo, you can do it all looking your best, 24 hours a day.
Every day I get letters from my fabulous readers asking
about Internet dating. Does it really work?
Sure it does. Of course there's always a possibility
of meeting the Star Trek troll who lives with his mother, or worse, other
Star Trek trolls. The prison inmate. The forgot-to-mention-she's-married.
But for the most part, online dating is still a great way to meet someone.
Here are a few tips to help you
A Picture's Worth a Thousand
This is possibly your most important
asset in successful online dating. Most people will pass by a profile
with no photo - no matter how fabulous it may be. Most people search for
profiles with photos only. Dating is all about chemistry, and nobody wants
to end up with whoever is behind door number three. Make sure your photo
is the best possible picture of you; feel free to crop to get the best
shot and pump up the contrast to add a little excitement. (Try it, it
adds an extra vaa-vaa-voom to your picture - you'll just pop off the page.)
Avoid using pictures of you and other people, even if they're blurred
out. The message you're trying to send is fun, sexy or interesting, not
"witness protection program." Another good trick - wear red in your photo,
or use a red background. It automatically makes you stand out from the
crowd and seem more exciting. (Works at a party too...)
The Profile. Showing Your Fun
Your profile is your second most important
tool. The key here is to use advertising principles to create immediate
interest and action. Here's what you need to create a profile that pulls:
A snappy headline, three key points (it's not a resume darling, it's small
talk...) and a big finish. (Known to advertising people as a "Call To
Try to avoid sounding needy or negative. (It's always
best to have a friend desperado-check your profile before you post - especially
a friend of the opposite sex.) Avoid bad puns, clich?s and pitiful jokes,
such as "Go Ahead, Click My Day" or anything that sounds desperate like
"Are You Prince Charming?" or "Searching For Soulmate." Funny is good,
and frankly, nothing works better than humor to intrigue and bring those
eligible flying into your inbox.
Here are some interesting ones:
"My dog needs a mom."
"Outdoorsman seeking good catch"
"The girl below me is a stalker"
Most people will click on a profile with a funny
title just to see what the person says next. And last but not least, SPELLCHECK!
The technology is there, sweets, all you have to do is push the button.
Okay, so now you're ready to make contact.
Emailing a potential date is like flirting. You want to captivate without
giving everything away. Both humor and intrigue are great ways to break
the ice, and send those sparks burning over the DSL. Start off your email
with something like "I noticed the most interesting thing about you."
Don't spill what the interesting thing was; just use it as a teaser. They
won't know if it's the Haiku profile or their in-depth knowledge of macram?
that snagged you, but people are fundamentally curious. It will gnaw at
them until they write back and Bingo, you've got contact.
Once again, it's important to keep your emails snappy
- short and charming. Go into too much depth and you'll induce your online
Romeo or Juliet to snores. In-depth analysis of your feelings is what
therapy is for - this, my darlings, is flirting.
Another tip: don't send a barrage of emails to one
person, follow their pace and try to keep up. (If they send 4 a week,
you send 4 or so every week.)
Finally, never, NEVER give your personal
information out to a stranger, and although in traditional dating settings
a man should ALWAYS pick up his date at her door, meeting someone you
don't know is a different situation entirely. Always remember to be safe,
meet at a public place, and take a friend if you can. Let someone know
where you'll be and when you'll be home, and be sure to take your cell
phone with you. Always trust your instincts, and if a little voice is
telling you something's not right, pay attention and hit the door.
Have faith and be safe - Eventually you'll meet someone
fantastic, and you'll just, well, click.
About the author
Daily is a popular media guest and the author of Stop Getting Dumped!
All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry
"The One" in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere. As seen
in/on Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and Ricki Lake. Get Lisa's FREE dating
tips newsletter - chock-full of man-snagging techniques - at